Hmm...

i sit and conjure me beautiful spaces
i dream of endless beauty and perfection
to seduce and enthral


but when i walk out
i realized im squinting in the bright light
adjusting my eyes from the constant dim
and stretching my arms
unlocking knots that have formed in my back


its that instant
i am made aware
that conjuring dreamlands
and imagining fantasy worlds

had put a curse
and made me deem this world im in
dull and lifeless


so this is where
i enjoy absolute latitude
on white spaces in computer screens
typing away
my creations and unreal desires



NOTE TO SELF:
1)get a green indoor plant to set my eyes on every now n then

2)get ready for thicker lenses on my glasses

sigh................

Age

I look in the mirror today..and i see 'age'
Rupa-rupanya saya dah tak muda lagi..

When u realise something..
It's time you start doing something about it..

I still say Alhamdulillah, kerana diberi kesedaran
Perlu tingkatkan usaha
Ke arah kebaikan lagi...

:)

Walk On

An addict to things unreachable. Constant craving and need for the unapproachable. Ive lived long enough in my head to realise that sadistic pleasure of wanting something impossible pushes me on. A demented form of motivation, yet is the only substance that keeps me sated..but disillusioned. 

Change

I realised how much I've changed when..

I don't go to lounges for jazz anymore
I start to care how many pimples I have on my face
I use cosmetic products on my face
I put on whitening mask on my face
I actually really worry about my weight
I count every single line underneath my eyes
I actually am contemplating make up?
I feel like I'm not pretty or beautiful in any way..anymore..

I am trying too hard to be someone who I think I am not..

Is change really imminent?

Eyes of the beholder

I have always thought i was okay looking
Not hot, not cun, not extremely beautiful
But okay looking..
I used to notice guys staring at me
Those irritating top to toe stares
Or those cute malu2 glances...

Before i met you.

Now i honestly feel ugly
I honestly feel
Like im never good enough
To walk beside you
I have too many blemishes on my face
I am too fat
I dont dress up well enough
And i have plaque..on my teeth...

I dont notice the stares anymore
Or the glances
From other men
Is it just me
Or have i really turned ugly

They say confidence makes you look hot
They say self esteem is attractive
I dont really have much of those two anymore
I guess
Since i met you...

Counting the moments till i hear
One word of compliment from you again
Hoping...hoping...

Sayang, am i really that ugly
In your eyes?

Or isit just me?

Cerai

cerai

harini, kalau bukak paper, bersepah cerita cerai sana sini. tak payah paper, lu pandang keliling-kelliling lu, akan ada cerita keluarga yang bercerai atau mempunyai sejarah penceraian. cerai. dengar nama pun dah tak best. cerai, dengar situasi pun boleh potong mood tengah huha. demm.

tapi, nak gebang apa bro?

apsal lu cerai?

sebab lu dah tak serasi.

apsal lu tak serasi?

sebab lu dah mula tak sefahaman.

apsal tak sefahaman?

pasal lu dua orang berbeza.

apsal lu dua orang berbeza?

sebab lu dua orang sebenarnya lain mahu pada awal nya.

camne nak sama mahu pada awalnya?

biar bersama kerana Dia. bukan kerana cinta lu sama lu, nafsu, wang, paras rupa atau layanan.

camne dapatkan title 'kerana Dia'?

lu pandang sejadah, sejadah nak pandang lu balik ke x agak lu?

OUT

Above is a post i got off sumone who i recently had a chance to baca2 his blog.. :) I found it through another blog (sarkasis.blogspot.com).. Anyhow..i found his postings to be honest.. and thats a lot more substantial than the typical blog out there.. Anyway.. Thank you budak nerd. Looking forward to reading your other posts.

Source: http://badekgonzalez.blogspot.com/2010/12/cerai.html