De-pres-sion

Define?
-A mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity
-A common mental disorder that presents with depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration
-If you think of the body as a container, then it is a sign that there is no room left to take in more stimulation. The "cup is full"  ....


The "cup is full". The cup IS full. What is worth trying and what is not? Is it possible to shed each layer of who you are in hopes of becoming a perfect person. Daring to even think you may be worthy of such fairytale..  like such people in those damn movies.. those damn movies- yes, the ones that makes you smile silly imagining you were the one 'he' said those beautiful words to. Damn those movies.

The days that go by just feels empty now. To please.. to not anger.. to not step a toe outside the imaginary perfect cocoon you think you have built for yourself. What is it do i have to do.

Sometimes i hate myself. I build this. I build this world. And why is it inadequate now? Why is it so difficult now? It used to be so easy. It used to be effortless. Now im suffocating. And slowly, brick by brick i scrape and peel at everything..destroying it with my own hands.

What do u want Fara? Think. Isnt this what you want? Isnt this perfect world something you have always wanted, dreamed of, prayed for...all this while.
Then stop this.
Stop this insanity.
Dont sabotage the ONE thing you think u can hold onto.

I am drowning...But ill keep my head high. Hoping for the last few breaths i can take before i am completely submerged. Will he open this door for me and drain me from my fears??

Bordering on depression. The cup IS full.

Story of a little girl

Here's a story of a little girl who always thought she was too little for the big world around her.

Here's a story of the little girl who thought the stories in her head would be the story of her life.

The stories in her head never really quite came true. But the ones that did, surfaced in ways she couldn't even begin to imagine. Some were good..some were bad...and then there were just...some..

Standing still as time and the world rushes around her. She is in her own world. Naive, hopeful, but complacent with life.

At 26, she is still the little girl who thinks she is too little for the big world. A decade has past and she still lives in her own head, conjuring little stories..
 

Something worth sharing

"When you understand, " Brandy says, "that what you're telling is just a story. It isn't happening anymore. When you realize the story you're telling is just words, when you can crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan," Brandy says,"then we'll figure out who you're going to be." -Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

A new chapter

Ive been contemplating a new blog..a sort of new chapter to something i began a couple of years ago. Not abandoning the past.. Just moving on to.. a new beginning? No.. just a new blank piece of page. Well, in this case, a new blog host.